The recent report by Smart Energy GB into how environmentally friendly British TV shows are is quite interesting, though not in a good way. Apparently, 20% of Brits feel that if TV characters make a point of turning off lights and reducing energy use in the programmes they watch, they’re encouraged to do the same. Presumably that means that 80% of Brits would not be influenced in this way.

The report also lists the TV shows rated as green, and the ones rated as red. (The latter includes Gangs of London. How appalling that criminals are not shown committing their offences in an environmentally-friendly way.)

The report and the idea are not good for several reasons.

First, as far as I can see, there is no indication of how many people took part in the survey. Therefore figures like “20% of Brits” are meaningless.

Second, it’s a bad idea per se. I, like many people, don’t like being preached at, especially when the message is wrapped up (though not in a very subtle manner) in a programme that I’m watching for a bit of escapism. Somehow, the idea of a gang leader, having just authorised the beating up of a rival gang member, telling his crew to remember to turn the lights off as they leave, just doesn’t ring true.

Third, it’s not even original. Around 50 years ago MAD magazine ran a feature in which it suggested that advertisements and lessons be embedded into TV programmes and films. So there were examples like this (these are not the exact originals; one was a scene from a war movie, the other was a scene from a Western, but these examples, based on my memory, will give you a pretty good idea of what I’m talking about )

The War Movie

Sergeant: OK, boys, let’s move it. Let’s show them suckers that we ain’t no pushover.

Private: I can’t, Sarge. I got terrible stomach pains caused by excess acidity. I guess I’m gonna have to sit this one out.

Sergeant: Soldier! You need Peptolax. Its fast-acting secret formula has been shown to reduce 87% of stomach acidity in under two minutes.

Two minutes later…

Private: You’re right, Sarge. My stomach acidity has gone. I feel great!

Sergeant: That’s why I always carry a packet of Peptolax with me wherever I go. OK, boys! Let’s get them dirty Reds!

The Gangster Movie

Gangland boss: OK, cop. I’m gonna plug ya, but good. [Reaches for his gun]

Jason Fox, Private Eye and all-round good guy, pulls out his gun first, and shoots him dead.

Bystander: You got him, Fox. Thank you for making this here neighbourhood a whole lot safer.

Fox: Thanks, Buddy, but I can’t take the credit. When I pulled the trigger of my 45, the hammer hit the cartridge, which set light to the propellant, which caused the gases to expand real quick, forcing the bullet out from the barrel at high speed.

Bystander: So, thanks to ignition and gases, we’re now rid of that loser for good!

Fox: Yep. and the fact that I was faster than him.

I don’t think that works somehow! Why not? Because it’s so clunky. By “clunky” I mean unsubtle, and so unsubtle as to make you feel like you’ve been banged over the head with the message.

But you have to admit it is, on the surface, a great idea. My rendering of it above is not a patch on the original, but as I’m not an elephant I can’t remember it perfectly. The marvellous thing about it, I think, is that the writers at MAD magazine knew what a terrible idea it would be in practice, and so were really tongue-in-cheek about it.

However, and getting back to that Smart Energy report, I suppose in the interests of fairness I should acknowledge that there is something in the idea of demonstrating good behaviour without making a huge song and dance about it. In my teaching days I very much subscribed to the concept of the hidden curriculum, whereby kids learn at least as much from what you do as what you say — probably more so.

For instance, I was always smartly dressed, well-organised, rarely late and always polite. I hoped that the way I presented myself would exemplify the behaviour I expected from them. In the same way, perhaps if TV programmes did show “green behaviour” some viewers would learn by a process akin to osmosis. Perhaps. What I am certain of, however, is that if the “correct” message was broadcast in a really obvious way, such as characters wearing Greta Thunberg t-shirts or saying things like (while looking at their latest electricity bill), “Look, Derek, our electricity bill has gone down by 17% since we started turning the lights off as we left a room.”, it wouldn’t convey a message so much as give people a laugh.