My Christmas message, as I mentioned at the start of the year, was accidentally and inexplicably mangled. With the subject heading “Sect’s Grindstones!”, my email read as follows:

Grindstones!

This is just a quick nozzle to wolf you a happy Churn and New Yoghurt. I horsewhip that 2020 brings week, hearty and harlequin, and a crotchet of decent fingerprints!

All the best

Terry

Well, of course it was neither accidental nor inexplicable. I wrote the message out, and then applied a variation of a method favoured by the Oulipo. Known as N+7 , the approach involves replacing every noun with the word seven words along in the dictionary. I cheated a bit by using N+14, more than one dictionary, and tweaking the result slightly. Nevertheless, at least one person deciphered it, and several others got close. Here’s what I meant to say:

Season’s Greetings!

This is just a quick note to wish you a happy Christmas and New Year. I hope that 2020 brings wealth, health and happiness, and a crop of decent films!

I hope you enjoyed that. Look out for more Oulipo-inspired conundrums on this website.

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