This article is part of series I am writing called Experiments in Style. It is my version of Raymond Queneau’s Exercises in Style (Amazon affiliate link), in which the author takes a very mundane incident and reworks it in various ways. A graphic version of the same thing is Matt Madden’s 99 Ways to tell a story (ditto). I think it’s quite interesting to see how a change in style can dramatically alter the feel of a piece. My ‘experiments’ are based on the article I wrote called A bang on the head.
Although the result is nonsensical, I think it has a musical quality of its own. Take, for instance, the line “bok bilrdg forhfnk lvdniq rjg”. It sounds like an excerpt from Beowulf. All it lacks is a Hwaet!
Zo gwn lzkkin rq gwn oztwg, Z prfn ju (zq vrj hbo hbii enzot dnlz-hrodhzrjd enzot bpbfn), pbifnk ujaurdniv grpbakd gwn krra gr tr gr gwn ebgwarrl — bok bilrdg forhfnk lvdniq rjg.
Gwn anbdro pbd gwbg zo gwn gpzo dgbgnd rq nogzan kbafondd bok dnlz-drloblejibohn Z pbd qbhzot zo b kzqqnanog kzanhgzro qarl gwn ron Z gwrjtwg Z pbd qbhzot. Bd b andjig, zodgnbk rq pbifzot gwarjtw gwn krra, Z gaznk gr pbif gwarjtw gwn pbii.
Gwn onsg qnp kbvd earjtwg objdnb bok wnbkbhwnd. Bqgna ljhw uanmbazhbgzro Z pnog gr Bhhzknog bok Nlnatnohv, pwnan Z pbzgnk ungazqznk blrot unruin qra pwrl “drhzbi kzdgbohzot” lnbod org xjzgn grjhwzot vrj, bok pwr pran gwnza lbdfd bd b hwzo-pbalna.
Bo wrja bok b wbiq ibgna Z nlnatnk zogr gwn gpziztwg, dnhjan zo gwn forpinktn gwbg Z wbk orgwzot lran dnazrjd gwbo lzik hrohjddzro. Z qbzink gr kr ljhw pazgzot, ejg Z pbd uinbdnk gr wbmn anbk b qjagwna 17% rq lv errf.
How I encrypted the text
I used an online tool: Affine Cipher.